my “to do” list

Today I woke up and got thru my morning pages and then got started on my “to do” list for the day. A ton of phone calls, emails, messages to return…I was feeling pressured and stressed and honestly, a little bit irritated.

And then I got the news about the earthquake…so scary..and so sad….

I have never been able to make any sense out of these natural disasters. I dont know if I will ever understand why they happen or how they fit into God’s ultimate plan for us. I dont know if I will ever understand why God “protects” some of his children and yet allows bad things to happen to His other children…if, supposedly, He loves us all equally… its a question that I’ve had countless discussions about with friends and colleagues for years….and I have yet to hear a strong,solid answer… if God was “watching over Jess” on 9/11, does that mean that He wasnt watching over all of the rest of the people? Why were we spared while so many other people were not? How can we celebrate the rescue of all of the earthquake survivors today when there were so many that were lost?

Whenever I have conversations with my friends who dont believe in God, or any Higher Power, they often use this argument. “If there is a God, then why does He allow for (Insert world disaster of your choice here) to happen?” And alot of times I am not really sure how to answer.. in a way, they kind of have a point….

I dont know if I will ever find answers to these questions…..or if I will ever be able to “defend” my faith with ease….but what I can say with absolute certainty is that I know as a result of these tradgedies just how very precious life is, and how very blessed we are just to be alive. They’ve taught me not to take my life or the people I love for granted, because they can be taken away from me in an instant, with no warning. They have shaped the way I see the world, handle challenges, and how I lead my life…they are a reminder that the things that I consider to be so F**!!* important are not, at the end of the day, so important after all.

Had an awesome Shakespeare class last nite…didnt get to go up but got so much out of watching my classmates. Thats all for now..get you guys to a nunnery! Lol


About Jennica Carmona

Voice Mail: (212) 802-8498 Legit — Meg Pantera: (212) 219-9330 Commercial/Print — Prestige Model Management: (212) 239-6784

Posted on February 23, 2011, in Jennica. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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